A few months ago, Easter Friday, I knelt down in my living room, wearing bright green flared trousers, trying to balance my phone against a pillow, which perched on a tripod, which stood as close to the corner of a wall as possible. The pillow kept slipping, my phone kept crashing to the floor, I kept giggling manically. It was like something out of Fawlty Towers.
I was also a little tipsy, which didn't help. I'd spent a few hours drinking rum punch in our friends' garden while their giant chocolate Lab pushed his big, slobbery snout against my leg, because he likes me I suppose (and I like him too).
I'll be honest, I needed the dutch courage. I was about to join an Instagram Live with the exceptionally talented and wonderful human, Alyson Shelton. She had asked me to take part in her poetry project called Where I'm From by writing my own poem and then sharing it live for whoever wanted to watch and listen. Yikes.
Writing poetry is one of the ways I muddle through my feelings. It is cathartic, therapeutic, and personal. So very very personal. Sharing this poem felt like a big deal, but honestly, reciting it on Instagram felt empowering and joyful.
So I want to share it here because I'm proud of it. This poem is a little bit of me and my story. At the time of writing this, almost 100 humans have shared their poems as part of Alyson's Where I'm From project. You can find them all on her website.
Where I’m From
I’m from far away
a rainbow nation made
of scattered pieces
from a world so scarred
and shimmering
its beauty unbarred
and heartbreaking
a joy so bountiful,
unstoppable.
From the wild African sun
igniting life without peace
bathing silky blue hydrangeas
warm rosy-cheeked embraces
from a land as green as envy
dusty roads and memories
of doorstep samosas
and backyard slip and slides
big smiles, bright eyes, dancing
in a one story house where
love survived.
Simmering on stoves
sweet milk and cinnamon
sizzling over fire
salty boeries, soft bellies
bathed in sunshine, surrounded
by our complicated history.
I’m from determined curiosity
the strength to say goodbye
to find another life
on ancient land, soft yellow sand
Mr Whippys and mushy peas
come for dinner not tea
road trips through history
past crumbling castles and
road signs short of vowels
thread by grassy thread
we wove ourselves
into this place
we call home.
I’m from all over
my love language exists
in distance, reminiscent
of fond hearts finding their way
a love so stubborn, unshakeable
skimming oceans and time
crossing bridges and dewy skies
existing quietly, by your side
in between your day to day
like hey,
I’m still here don’t worry.
I’m from pride and joy
be anything you want to be
see everything you need to see
then come home, for tea
for Canasta and crunchies
for pub lunch and TV
for belly laughs and
puppy cuddles and
the soft ebb of a cold sea.
And so, for ten year old me
watching her world change
afraid, unable to see
the forest for the trees
I wish I could say
you’re from love, it’s okay
listen to your mother
when she says
we’ll never have nothing
if we have each other.